R.I.P. Rodney Dangerfield 1921-2004

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!' "

* * * * *

"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother."

"When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream."

"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?' "

"When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up."

"I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home."

"When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."

"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names -- hers and her mother's."

"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."

"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."

•	The 4th Tenor (2003)
•	Ringmaster/My 5 Wives (2002)
•	Little Nicky (2000)
•	My 5 Wives (2000)
•	The Godson (1998)
•	Casper: A Spirited Beginning (1997)
•	Meet Wally Sparks (1997)
•	Natural Born Killers (1994)
•	Ladybugs (1992)
•	Nothin' Goes Right - Rodney Dangerfield (1988)
•	Back to School (1986)
•	It's Not Easy Bein' Me (1986)
•	Rodney Dangerfield - "It's Not Easy Bein' Me" (1986)
•	Easy Money (1983)
•	Caddyshack (1980)
•	The Projectionist (1971)

Screenwriter
•	My 5 Wives (2000)
•	Meet Wally Sparks (1997)

Voice
•	Rusty - The Great Rescue (1998)
•	Rover Dangerfield (1991)